Quack Idols
by Steffie1
Summary: The popular singing contest, Quack Idols, is in town! Count Duckula and his servants decided to enter. Would Count Duckula's dream of becoming a star finally come true?


Charcters (c) Cosgrove Hall Story (c) to me, Steffie

Enjoy

Quack Idol

Hello boys and ghouls to another horrible day in Transylvania. The villagers shiver in fear as horrible shrieks and screams echoed from Castle Duckula. What horror awaits in that haunted castle today?

Inside Castle Duckula

"...He flies through the niiiight, looooking for a bite..." Nanny and Duckula sung horribly off-key, which made Igor grimace in pain. What could have happened to his ear plugs?  
"May I ask why M'Lord is singing?" Igor sighed in defeat. The question caused Duckula to stop singing at once. The mallard waddled up to Igor until he was right in front of the vulture, arms akimbo. Nanny was still singing, not noticing her Duckyboos wasn't singing with her.

"Why am I singing? Why am I singing? Igor, didn't you hear?" Count Duckula asked as he flapped his arms.  
"What didn't I hear, M'Lord"  
"Quack Idols will be in town tomorrow!" Duckula beamed. Igor's dour expression became more of a frown.  
"Quack Idols"  
"Y'know, that TV show where the one with the best singing voice would become the next singing idol? Well, I am particpating." Duckula explained.

Igor inwardly screamed that his young master's singing was terrible enough to wake the dead. Yet, the vulture still managed to keep his grim expression as the mallard happily exclaimed that he shall finally become a star.  
"Wait a minute!" Count Duckula exclaimed, which made Nanny stop singing.  
"What is it, M'Lord?" Igor asked, dreading the answer the count would give him.  
"How about all three of us compete in Quack Idols"  
"That will be very nice, Master Duckula." Nanny beamed.

"No, I refuse to participate!" Igor exclaimed firmly.  
"But, why not?" Duckula whined.  
"I simply refuse, M'Lord"  
"Now that I think about it, I never heard you sing before. Why?" Duckula mused. "Some people just believe singing is a waste of time"  
"Some people refuse to sing because they're horrible at it!"

"I only wish that were true for everyone." Igor uttered under his breath. Luckily enough for the vulture, his master didn't hear him.  
"So, you refuse to sing at Quack Idols, right"  
"Yes, M'Lord"  
"How about a deal? You won't have to sing at all at Quack Idols if you don't step on the stage. But, for whatever reason, you stepped on the stage, you must sing in front of a live audience. Deal"  
"Deal, M'Lord." Igor smirked as he shook hands with the young fowl to make the deal genuine.  
"By the way, I heard Quack Idols shall be broadcasted live around the world!" Duckula smirked. Igor inwardly gulped, but he calmed down soon afterwards. All he had to do is to avoid the stage, and he wouldn't have to sing!

The next day

Count Duckula and his servants were amazed when they arrived at the giant building that hosted today's Quack Idols. There were only about a few dozen people that waited in the queue to participate.

"I wonder why not many people are taking part?" Duckula wondered out loud as he took his place behind a beautiful blonde goose. She was chatting to an older gander (who wasn't in the queue) that looked strangely familiar...

Much later

The judges wore bored expressions as they listened to the participants sing. Some of the singers sung so badly that the paint on the wall peeled off. A few singers sung too softly for anyone to hear. Some singers were good, but they didn't stand out much. The TV TV crew was quite concerned about the lack of talent the people of Transylvania had. The crew winced when they heard the audience in the stage complain that this was the worst Quack Idols competition ever. The other participants (who sat in the audience) shuffled in their sits in discomfort.

"Next participant: Vanna!" one of the judges (a rooster) called out. A beautiful blonde snow-white goose in a red dress climbed up to the stage. "You khan do it, Vanna! Mein Kind, making your papa proud you shall!" a gander honked loudly as he stood up from his seat. The goose looked a bit embarrassed.  
"Okay Vanna, please sing." another judge asked. The blonde opened her beak to sing. A soothing voice came out.

"In the heart of Transylvania,  
In the Vampire Hall of Fame, yeah,  
There's not a vampire zanier than.  
DUCKULA!  
He won't bite beast or man,  
'Cos he's a vegetarian.  
And things never run to plan for.  
DUCKULA!  
If you're looking for some fun,  
You can always count upon,  
Come and find the one they call.  
HONK!!"

The goose blushed madly at her mistake. The judges groaned as they smothered their faces with their hands. They told her that she almost made it, but the honk made her lose. The audience chuckled amongst themselves as the blonde shamefully waddled back to her seat, her father reassuring her that she shouldn't be embarrassed.

"Next up: Nanny!" the judge (who's a dove) called out. The giant hen climbed up the steps. "Okay Nanny, please sing for us." the judge (whose a rooster) asked. The hen opened her beak to sing.  
"He flies through the niiiiight, looooooking for a bite!" Nanny's voice boomed loudly. The entire building started to shake.  
"STOP!" all four judges shouted at once. Nanny complied, but she looked quite dejected.  
"I'm sorry Nanny, but you didn't make it." the judge (whose a flamingo) sighed sadly. The poor hen wailed as she ran back to her chair, not caring that she caused an earthquake as she did so.

"Next up: Count Duckula!" the judge (who's a crow) called out. Count Duckula walked up to the stage. This had attracted the attention of Vanna's father. His feathers ruffled as he took a small weapon out of his jacket's pocket: a small gun that had a stake sticking out of it. The gander told his daughter to stay in her seat as he has to do urgent business.

"Okay Duckula, please sing." the judge (who's a dove) asked. Before Duckula could even open his mouth, a wooden stake suddenly pierced the floor in front of him.  
"Wha?!" Duckula screeched in fright. His scared expression quickly became one of anger when he noticed a familiar gander climbing up the stairs.  
"Von Goosewing, what are you doing here?!" the mallard demanded. "Zhat iz nein of your buziness!" Dr. Von Goosewing growled as he tried to shoot the mallard again.

Before anyone could register what happened, the vampire hunter was suddenly knocked off stage. The gander flew through the air and landed roughly against the tv crew's equipment, knocked out cold. The young blonde that had sung before had run up to the fallen doctor, shrieking that she hoped he was alright. She sighed in relief when he sat up right and swore in German. Ignoring his pleas of allowing him to attack his enemy, Vanna lead her father back to her car.

Duckula sighed in relief when he noticed that the person who had knocked Goosewing off stage was none other than Igor himself, whom was standing firmly on the platform.  
"Thanks, Igor." Duckula smiled. His innocent smile became mischievous when he realized what Igor had done.

"Oh, Igor?" Duckula asked in a sing-song voice.  
"Yes, M'Lord"  
"Remember our bet that you wouldn't have to sing, unless you stepped on stage for any reason"  
"Oh no..." Igor groaned in his hands.  
"Puh-zacktly! You will have to sing right after me, Igor."

After Duckula had sung horribly, the judges had called Igor. The disgruntled vulture mumbled under his breath as he climbed up the steps.  
"Okay, Mr. Igor, please sing." all four judges droned in a bored tone. Count Duckula and the rest of the audience watched in hushed anticipation as Igor took a deep breath. The butler finally opened his beak to sing, a superlative and emotive bass voice escaping his throat.

"If you're feeling scared or you're a little cuckoo maybe you've run into...Duckula.  
If your knees go knock or your teeth go chatter maybe you've bumped into Duckula.  
He flies through the night, looking for a bite, but he's back here by daylight. Duckula.  
If you're sort of scared or you're a little cuckoo, it's certain you've run into Duckula.  
If your heart goes thump or your mind goes crazy, man you've had a brush with Duckula.  
So, watch out for the horrors, beware of the dark and pray you'll never meet with Duckula."

As soon as Igor stopped singing, the entire audience and the judges clapped and cheered loudly. Count Duckula and Nanny joined Igor on stage, both still a bit shocked the old fowl could sing so well. "Congratulations Mr. Igor, you are the new winner of Quack Idols." both the presenter and producer of TV TV cheered loudly.  
"That's great. So, what did Igor won?" Duckula asked, seeing dollar signs.  
"Mr. Igor had won a free trip to Hawaii for one week, which had everything included." the presenter stated, sounding a bit nervous. Count Duckula quacked happily, not pondering why this version of Quack Idols was so different than the others...

Two weeks later

"Come Igor, Nanny, the show would start at any moment!" Count Duckula bellowed as he made himself comfortable in front of the television. A few seconds later, a loud crash was heard as Nanny smashed through the wall. Igor was right behind. They both then sat in the couch next to their young master.  
"Hey, the show's about to start!" Duckula cheered loudly. He quickly frowned when the show's title popped up.

" 'Our Wacky World'? Hey, what's going on?" Duckula fumed. All three fowls paid full attention when the face of TV TV's presenter popped up.  
"Welcome to this week's episode of Our Wacky World. Today, we will be talking about how reality shows seemed to only attract idiots and the talentless."

Clips of Count Duckula and Nanny singing were shown at the small corner of the screen.  
"Two weeks ago, TV TV had pretended to be hosting Quack Idols, with the special permission from the producers of Quack Idols. To our utter disappointment, ninety-nine percent of the participants had no talent.," A short clip of Igor's singing was shown. The vulture shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he heard himself sing, "The one percent that had talent didn't even participate until his friend actually bullied him into taking part!"

Count Duckula angrily switched the television off and stomped out of the room in anger, Igor and Nanny following him.  
"M'Lord, whatever is the matter?" Igor dared himself to ask. He had a vague idea what was wrong, but dared himself to ask anyways.  
"Igor, I only have one thing to say...", Count Duckula replied in a calm and even voice, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

As the entire universe shook from the terrible howls of the vicious vampire duck, I have to bid you all farewell. Good night, out there...whatever you are!

The End 


End file.
